Last night I was infected with a computer virus. I just couldn’t stop surfing the net, writing blogs, sending e-mails. Until I really felt ill. Useful as they are, computers are also the biggest time-wasters, at least as far as I am concerned. So I’ve decided to set an alarm whenever I use the computer. Time’s up!
By the way: The word “computeritis” made it into the Oxford English Dictionary about a year ago: “the excessive use of computers; the fact of being detrimentally influenced by computers. Also: illness or disability attributed to the use of computers, esp. carpal tunnel syndrome.
A report in the FSB Business Network Magazine has drawn my attention to the huge number of people running their own business from home. There is also an increasing number of people in employment working partly or entirely from home. Working from home might seem like an easy option but can be extremely stressful in reality as you try to balance the demands of work, life and family.
- Mange your Time: It is essential to allocate blocks of time to work only. Pretend that you are actually at work somewhere else and don’t get distracted by chores like cleaning or shopping, private phone calls or a neighbour popping in for a chat. Identify and limit time-eaters like replying to private e-mails and internet browsing.
- Manage your Environment: Make sure you have a private space dedicated to work only. Keep it clutter-free. Make sure you are undisturbed during your working hours. Observe health and safety requirements.
- Manage your Finances: Take a professional attitude and make sure you have a business plan and control over your finances. Meet tax requirements and deadlines.
- Look after your Health: Establish a routine that includes regular and wholesome meals, breaks, exercise, and sufficient sleep. Don’t drink alcohol during working hours. Don’t indulge in coffee, tea, biscuits or fast food.
- Keep in Touch with Colleagues, Friends and Family: This is essential to avoid social isolation, and to maintain your mental and emotional well-being.
- Value Yourself: Now that you are your own boss, be a good boss: Acknowledge your hard work. Praise yourself for your achievements. Reward yourself.
- Get help: If you can afford it, invest in a cleaner, childminder, virtual assistant, accountant … it is worth it.
- Let go of Perfectionism: When there are not enough hours in a day, you’ve got to focus on the main priorities and learn to let go of less important tasks.
- Relax: Imagine doing nothing for 20 minutes each day. Not even watching TV, reading or listening to music. Make time for time, lie down comfortably, close your eyes and let your mind drift off somewhere nice.
Speaking in public surely is a stressful event for most people. On the BBC The Speaker website http://www.bbc.co.uk/speaker I came across a quote by Winston Churchill that makes the same point: The three hardest things to do are to climb a wall that is leaning towards you, to kiss a girl that is leaning away from you, and to speak in public. There is plenty of advice on how to improve your speaking and presenting skills on the internet and in print, but I think the most important thing is to be yourself. If you try to be somebody else it never works. Also, don’t try to make people like you as this will leave you self-conscious and vulnerable, instead focus on making people understand your message.
A lot of stress is is a result of putting ourselves down, not appreciating ourselves, not valuing ourselves.
It’s about time to change this:
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
“Love after Love” by Derek Walcott
I received a newsletter from the British Psycholgical Society yesterday with an interesting item about our ability (or rather disability) to predict how we will feel in future situations (what we dread usually doesn’t leave us feeling so bad after all, and events we really look forward to often leave us cold). Researchers have shown that our predictive powers can be improved in a rather simple way: by finding out how one of our friends or relatives found the same experience. The trouble is we seem to have a mental block about this, believing that our own best guess will be more insightful than information on how another person found the experience.
What does this mean for stress management? When you feel anxious (stressed) about some event in the future, go and chat to a friend who has been through a similar experience. If you don’t know anybody,books, newspaper articles and internet posts may provide a helpful alternative.
If you sometimes wonder where your time is going, I can highly recommend keeping a time log for a week. I’ve done it recently, and it was a real eye opener. First of all, it made me think about what I am doing and why. You could call it an exercisee in mindfulness. I discovered that I have the tendency to hop from one activity to the next but when you keep a time log you can’t do this because you would have to run to your notebook and it would be rather tediious writing down 2 or 3 minute activities. It made me ask myself : Is it worth starting the activity? It also made me break down my various tasks and chores into bigger chunks so it enabled me to concentrate on one activity at a time and for a decent period of time. In addition, I quickly discovered the “time eaters”, activities such as e-mailing and using the internet, which can go on for ever unless you keep them at bay. As a result, I decided to allocate an hour to these activities, set an alarm, and finish when it goes off, no matter what. Last but not least, I realized that some activities use up much more time than I thought, little activities like tidying up the kitchen after breakfast or getting ready for appointments. Now I am able to allocate more time for these activities, allowing me to feel more in control and less in a rush.
How to keep a time log? It’s easy. Get a notebook and a pencil. Each time you start a new activity you write down the time (e.g. 7.00 getting up, 7.05 shower, 7.15 breakfast). After a week you may like to group certain activities together (e.g. getting ready in the morning). Do this for a week.
I went to the Health and Wellbeing at Work Conference http://www.healthatwork2009.co.uk in Birmingham this week. When walking from the train station to the NEC I noticed that I was the only person using the stairs. Surely, professionals in the health sector have heard of the benefits of walking? Especiall at the start of a day that involves a lot of sitting around in conference rooms. Later that day there was even a talk on promoting walking in the workplace. I wonder how many delegates used the stairs when walking back to the station.
With the headlines dominated today by the death of Ivan Cameron, I would like to point out two charities that might be useful for anybody going through a similar trauma:
www.childbereavement.org.uk
www.winstonswish.org.uk
In the local bakery here, there’s a poster that says: You shall nourish your body so that your soul likes living in there. An there’s a picture of lovely freshly-baked bread. It instantly makes you feel good and motivated to eat healthily.
In the same village, in a depot for grit, salt and snow plows (yes, I am in skiing resort at the moment), I unexpectedly discovered a little sign saying something like: Stay safe, take a break.
Why not discover your own inspiring sayings and put them up on little cards and display them on your fridge or bathroom mirror?
I am on holiday at the moment. Holidays have their own challenges of course. A traffic jam on the way to the airport. An argument about the best route to take. Restless children just when you are feeling exhausted and tired. A misplaced train ticket. It is the moment when you feel the blood rushing to your head, your heart beating faster, and your breathing getting shallower. It´s a good reminder that above all stress is a physiological reaction of the body to a threat. If a situation is perceived as a threat, a complex response kicks in within a split second, the so called fight-or-flight response. By releasing stress hormones such as cortisol and norepinephrine (noradrenaline) the body enters a state of alarm that allows it act quickly and either run away from danger or fight. The threats of modern day life are often more psychological than physical so running and fighting are neither possible nor appropriate. Still, stress relief can easily be achieved through physical activity (haven’t we all stormed out of the room during an argument!). Other quick stress busters include: yawning, laughing, splashing your face with cold water, distracting yourself from the situation (with a daydream, mental arithmetic, a relaxation technique). What is important is that you find the right strategy that works for you.
